‘My friend was mad at me, but he never asked again’: Sixth-grader maliciously complies with class showoff's request

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    Fine, I'll Type It S This is an old one from back when I was in 6th grade and school computers were still in labs. There was a guy in my class I'll call Jason, who was that certain breed of showoff common to the early 90s - the one who totally knows kung fu but just can't show you right now, and
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    who makes loud noises every time the teacher turns around, and is more concerned with belching the alphabet than with learning to spell. Unfortunately, one of my friends was "dating" Jason (as much as a 6th grader can) so he was always hanging around.
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    We got to the dreaded Five Paragraph Essay assignment and Jason showed up with a crumpled notebook page. He was a terrible typist and always asked me (the nerd of our group) to type his work up for him. I, being twelve and wanting to keep my friend happy, usually did it. For
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    whatever reason, this essay was my last straw, so I typed it exactly as written. Except instead of fixing his spelling as I went, I tried interpreting his terrible handwriting literally - and as wrongly as possible whenever there was ambiguity. It wuz am umreodable mass.
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    My friend was mad at me, but he never asked again. (He also had been held back two grades by the time we turned 18, and is now a tractor salesman, so I guess he never needed that five paragraph essay anyway.)
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    Random-Mutant Not that it was ever your problem, but I wonder if this person was dyslexic.
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    Waifer2016 5 paragraph essay? Is that a thing is American schools?
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    Lwn3 The first line made me feel old, lol.
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    Osmiant Weaponized "incompetence" at its finest. Well done OP. My little brother and I had to make a 35-40 minute drive after school for a wrestling practice and I always remember wanting a nap at that time (early afternoon) and almost always that guy is sacked out in the passenger seat.
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    So one day I was over it and wanted a nap of my own. And in the middle of the drive he curbed up on the median, shaking me out of my nap and the notion that I would let my brother drive. Still don't know if this was WI or just an honest mistake. I'll have to ask him sometime.
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    Harfosaurus Thats crazy that you were required to type essays at that age.
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